Have you see this video of Nicki Minaj talking about what it’s like to be a bossed-up female in the record industry and also in the world?
I love it because not only is she hilarious and wearing a rather amazing Who-from-Whoville pink wig — she is also totally right. About all of it. About how take-charge ladies are seen as bitches rather than bosses, about how women not only have to be dope at what they do but also sweet and sexy and compliant, about how whatever a person settles for is what that person will continue to get.
And she’s not only right about “society,” she’s right about me. I can’t help but look at myself and I see how often I fall for and even participate in all of this.
Do you do it too? Do you gloss things over when what’s called for is a come-to-Jesus talk? Do you wuss out when you should be bossing up?
I know why we do it, and it’s not unreasonable. Nicki just explained — the world does not respond at all well to ladies who speak their minds and command respect in a forceful way. Lots of times, it makes more sense to let a sleeping sexist dog lie because we are focused on a bigger goal. Other times, we have a lot to do and we don’t want to rock the boat and it’s easier to just let it go.
But it does make me sad. Because, let’s face it, we settle for pickle juice way too often. And as Nicki says, if you drink it once, you have set it up as an acceptable option for others to present you. Which means you’ll be drinking it forever.
Multiply this by millions of us letting stuff slide, and you can see how sexist BS just keeps on keeping on, down through the generations. How we can even become unwitting participants in handing it down.
Now, I’m not saying we need to put our foot down about every injustice we face during the day. We would have time for nothing else if we did. But maybe we can be a little more witting and a little less willing to play along with the worst of what we encounter. And maybe, the less of this we play along with, the less of it there will be.
Think about it. Where are you settling for pickle juice? Where do you need to boss up? At work? With your family? In the way you find yourself relating to your own body?
What do you want your new standard be? I’m aiming for chocolate milk at least.